HART-Empire Network II - Entertainment Channel

Quickie: More than anything else, you need to connect with people who make you happy today. Overview: If it feels right, you should do it. Sometimes the emotional logic overwhelms and outweighs the rationality. After all, feelings are evidence, too, and they shouldn't be ignored. Don't forsake your heart for your brain. (Daily Horoscope from Yahoo Astrology through http://www.shokk.com)

And you also find out interesting things when you have sons, like

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20×20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words “uh oh”, it’s already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego’s will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can’t walk on water.

14.) Pool filt ers do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR’s do not eject “PB & J” sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.) The fire department inAustin , TX has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid


Technorati Tags: Humor

Quickie: You'll start today with a lot of energy, but you'll get even more from your friends. Overview: Focus on love and beauty in your personal relationships. Now's a great time to achieve emotional balance and lay the foundations for long-lasting harmony. You can do it easily with the current celestial influence's help. (Daily Horoscope from Yahoo Astrology through http://www.shokk.com)

Quickie: Keep your eye on the ball today -- you have to live in the moment and pay attention. Overview: 'If only' are two of the most energy-sapping words in any language. It's time to focus on the here and now -- this is where the rewards are. Train your awareness. Focus on the present, and you'll see how good life is. (Daily Horoscope from Yahoo Astrology through http://www.shokk.com)

Quickie: Embrace your unique perspective and be glad that you don't resemble anyone else. Overview: You're about to experience a big breakthrough when it comes to how you view -- and act toward -- the people you're closest to right now. Romance-wise, the situation is definitely lookin' hot to trot -- and so are you! (Daily Horoscope from Yahoo Astrology through http://www.shokk.com)

Quickie: With so many facts still unknown, this is not a good time for any major action. Overview: It takes a lot of courage and heart to work through an issue, especially when the roots of it go stubbornly deep. Keep at it, however. Afterward, you'll see that your character is stronger than it ever was. (Daily Horoscope from Yahoo Astrology through http://www.shokk.com)

Quickie: Your creativity will be sparkling today -- express yourself. Overview: Take time to smell the roses, even if they're only metaphorically blooming. Life can be filled with a rare and heady perfume. Have penetrating conversations, go for long walks and cook some delicious meals. (Daily Horoscope from Yahoo Astrology through http://www.shokk.com)

Quickie: Grab the craziest idea you can think up, and tackle it without any emotion. Overview: Complaining is easy. Finding a way to ameliorate the situation so you have no cause for complaint is hard -- but in the end, its so much more satisfying. Don't take the easy way out. Work hard to get better. (Daily Horoscope from Yahoo Astrology through http://www.shokk.com)

Quickie: Looking back gives you confidence to move forward. Learn from all your mistakes. Overview: Be very clear about what you both expect if you're about to lend a friend something you value. How could this affect your friendship, both positively and negatively? It may make you renegotiate the terms of the loan. (Daily Horoscope from Yahoo Astrology through http://www.shokk.com)

Quickie: Lean on a close friendship today when you feel yourself falling back on bad habits. Overview: If you're talking with someone you trust to keep mum, what you're actually doing is exploring your feelings toward someone who puzzles you. If you're speaking maliciously, that's gossip. Know the difference. (Daily Horoscope from Yahoo Astrology through http://www.shokk.com)